For Sydney, Love is Spelled T-i-m-e (A follow up to my previous post)

When Jeff and I were in premarital counseling, our pastor had us write down 3 times in our lives we felt loved. Jeff's included things like his grandpa taking him to play golf when he was a boy, my examples focused on events like when my grandma would take me clothes shopping. From this list, our pastor talked to us about our love languages, meaning we had to show each other love in the "language" we understood. For Jeff, it was quality time, for me it was gifts. Well, the whole gift giving (or receiving) thing never really panned out for me, and I think my love language has since changed to something more like "acts of service" (go figure, being a busy mom!). But this concept of love languages has resurfaced again with our kids, specifically Sydney.

Gary Chapman wrote a book called The Five Love Languages, and if I remember correctly, they are:
Quality Time
Acts of Service
Gift Giving
Physical Touch
Words of Affirmation

The transition for me from 2 to 3 kids was not nearly as difficult as from 1 to 2, especially since Reid is such an easy baby. But once we started homeschooling, I began to feel spread really thin. Being a task-oriented person, it can be pretty frustrating feeling like I just can't get everything done that needs to be done. Jeff is helping me with time management, which really has been helpful so that I don't feel overly stretched. But the whole "test" Sydney gave me really made me want to probe deeper into her heart and find out where that was coming from.

What it boils down to is that Sydney's love language is quality time. She's given more than enough evidence that this is the case, but when I took her to McD's last week for hot fudge sundaes on a mother-daughter date, I asked her how she felt loved. Without hesitation, she replied, "When you spend time with me." And homeschool time doesn't count! :-) She needs one on one quality time with Jeff and/or me- dates, time reading together, playing dolls, hanging out in her room, etc.

Now that I know this, and want her to always feel loved, I can better structure my day to make sure a top priority is giving Sydney quality time. It may be just 15 minutes of alone time doing something she enjoys, but it's so awesome to watch her "love tank" fill up.