A Test of Love

Sydney dressed as a Pilgrim. She put this on for several days straight when we were studying the Pilgrims.

Yesterday, we were getting ready to meet some friends at the park. I told the kids to put on their shoes. Here's my conversation with Sydney:

Sydney: Mommy, do you know where my sneakers are?

Melanie: No, where did you leave them last night?

S: I don't know, I'll go check upstairs.

S: (After checking upstairs) They weren't there.

M: Maybe you left them outside. Did you check on the deck?

S: (Coming back inside) Well, I found them on the deck. But I knew where they were the whole time. That was just a test to see if you loved me.

M: Well, did I pass the test?

S: No. If you loved me, you would have known where my shoes were.

What??? My child was judging my love for her by whether or not I knew where her sneakers were? On one level, as an adult, you can laugh at that because it's so ridiculous. As her parent, I didn't think it was too funny because of underlying implications. But it really got me thinking about the passage in Matthew 4 where Jesus is tempted by Satan.

Matthew 4: 5-7:

Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. "If you are the Son of God," he said, "throw yourself down. For it is written: "'He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.'" Jesus answered him, "It is also written: 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.'"

How many times have I judged God when things were not going my way? The thought pattern is something like, "If God really, really cared, He surely wouldn't let this happen." Or, "Okay, either He loves me but just isn't completely sovereign, or He is sovereign but just doesn't care." Either way, I set up my own silly standards just like Sydney did, and if God doesn't pass my test, then His love just isn't true. Instead, I need to remember His faithful promises in His true word about His everlasting covenental love for me, not because I (or any of us) have earned His love but because He is love and He keeps His promises and He is good- all the time. And He is all that while being completely sovereign.

Thinking about this makes me really want to worship God for the mighty and loving Father He is. Instead of judging His love and faithfulness to me when things don't go my way, I need to confess to Him my desire to have things go my way all of the time. I need to remember that when I am tempted to think that way, it incriminates me and exposes my desire to be first. I must turn from that way of thinking and run back to my all powerful, all loving God who desires relationship with me. That's called living in faith and freedom instead of fear.

1 John 4:18a "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment."

So, back to Sydney. I guess the saying is true that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree! I'm sure any faults our kids have are learned from Jeff & me, but as we live life together in love and fellowship with one another and the Father, my greatest aspiration for them is that they will know the undying power of His unconditional love and faithfulness to His people.